Verbal Communication

How do you define verbal communication?

It is the spoken, oral, and unwritten way of communicating. It makes use of words, vocabulary, numbers and symbols and is organized in sentences.

This communication skill is not reserved for the selected few. It is an ability that each and every one should develop to improve relationships and interactions.

Everyone's mind is forever having thoughts and they are primarily in pictures and words. Words spoken affect your life as well as others. They have the power to create emotions and move people to take action. When you communicate clearly, you activate your mind and that of others and you stimulate creativity.

You create your reality with your senses, the eyes, ears and feelings and words and symbols are used to create the meanings. This is why you are encouraged to read and watch informative materials, listen to motivational audio programs and attend classes or seminars that relate to your line of work or objectives. Positive and uplifting spoken words motivate and inspire.

Phrase your words clearly and positively. Your words and the explanations you give affect thoughts and determine emotions.

Questioning helps challenge beliefs. According to Michael Hall, a belief is a thought to which you have said "yes", and you have affirmed by saying, "I believe this". It takes questions worded specifically before you can fully agree.

Your customers, children or partners agreeing and saying "Yes" to your suggestions and opinions indicate that you were able to influence and change their beliefs and thoughts from your spoken or written persuasion.

One of the ways to let others understand your message is by telling a story, reading a quote or telling a joke. Verbal communication through stories carries power to induce the person to relate to what you are saying or suggesting. A joke usually helps people relax more and is opened to listen to you.

The way you deliver the story can affect the thinking, emotions and behavior of the listeners. He is able to imagine the experience and will produce a response. A story narrated with eloquent can give hope to people who are in dire need for encouragement.

Questioning yourself or others with precise words allow for correct answers. It will make a difference if you were to ask a "why" or a "how" question. The former gives you a lot of reasons, understandings and explanations while the later set your brain thinking for a solution, useful information and a strategy.

By asking questions and wording them specifically, you will invite a positive debate and interaction that will benefit all involved. You become a better listener and entice others to do the same. Unnecessary arguments are reduced when you are able to express yourself with great command of your language skills, through verbal communication.

Whether you are going to speak in public, talk to your boss, spouse or children, you have to think before you utter those words. Verbal abuse happens when you express yourself without thinking and instead allow your emotions to take over.

You have to project your thoughts first in your mind or in writing before speaking them out. This will enable you to prepare yourself with any objections that may arise. Thinking, preparing and imagining the most desirable outcome in your mind allow you to practice your presentation and getting them right.

Have you ever listened to how you speak and render your conversations? If you haven't and are unaware, request for someone to do so. How many times did you stop your sentences and added an "ah", "um" or "well"? You can also record your verbal communication and listen back to your style of speaking.

Too many of these will irritate your listeners or is perceived as uneasiness or uncertainty in what you are saying. In order to reduce the unnecessary verbal cues, listen to yourself and become aware of it. Then when you realize it coming, condition yourself to just a silent pause.

Use your phrases with care. Talk and write in ways that allow for accurate description of your experience, thoughts or ideas. Don't expect people to assume and guess what you are trying to say.

Speak with specificity by avoiding words like always, never, every, or all. When you say to your spouse that he is always late when in fact he was late only twice, you are attracting an argument.

Parents like to compare their children by making statements like, "You are worse than your sister". What happens then? That will create resentment and a rebellious attitude.

Additional Resources

Body Language - Secrets Of Master Communicators

Persuasion Skills Black Book

How To Make Effortless Small Talk

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