Verbal Abuse and Verbal Assault

Verbal abuse is a type of maltreatment largely using vulgar, offensive and insulting words, sometimes adding expletives. Both men and women

The abuser usually has low self esteem. He becomes malicious and spiteful when his rules and needs aren't met. His ultimate motive is to gain control and show his superiority.

A verbally abusive person uses several ways to put down, disgrace and erode a person's confidence and poise. He uses name calling, criticizes and threatens. He scorns and ridicules her opinions and judgments, through sarcastic remarks or sometimes disguising it as a joke.

Verbal abuse damages a person's identity and self esteem as much as physical abuse does. The person being mistreated suffers mental and emotional abuse at the same time. Over a period of time when the victim keeps getting verbal assault and succumbs to it, she becomes irrational and will suffer from depression.

Children will do what they are told to do because of fear. They will learn to accept that the harsh words used on them are to discipline their behaviors and they'll accept the labels and names given to them. These unfortunate kids will grow into adulthood feeling timid, shy and inferior.

School children also find themselves being verbally abused by school bullies. Some are too afraid to report it to the school authorities and their parents. They too, will grow up with an inferiority complex. They'll either turn up aggressive or fearful and apprehensive.

Some wives who try to avoid verbal conflicts that could lead to physical abuse will allow their husbands to continue thrashing rude remarks on them. They become recluse and withdrawn.

Some employers use threats and their power to hire and fire. They demoralize their employees by throwing sarcasms and undermine and disregard the employees' contributions and performances. There are also problems among coworkers. Someone who feels more superior and insecure will bully another colleague and will try to defame her.

Unlike children, adults can choose to get rid of the temperamental and dominant people from their lives. However, most continue to allow these individuals to control and push them around, belittling their capabilities and humiliating their sense of self. They do not possess enough courage to face up and admit that they are worthy people.

1. Walk out of the situation or environment. If you are married to an abuser and talking or discussing doesn't help, seek a counselor or professional help.
   
   
   
2. Share your insecurities and fears with someone else who is impartial. Open up and ask for guidance.
   
   
   
3. Rebuild your self esteem. Love yourself, feel worthy and look at your strengths and capabilities. Take note of your likes and dislikes. Picture the benefits of gaining control over your life. Look at the disadvantages of continuing to have people pushing you around.
   
   
   
4. Learn to express your opinions and speak your thoughts assertively. You are a worthy person who has creative thoughts and ideas to share too. When you allow others to insult you and dictate your emotions and your life, you lose your independence.
   
   
   
5. Release yourself from the past memories of childhood. You are allowing the verbal abuse on you because of the need to look up on an authority figure for approval, control and security. Let go of those memories and the needs to obey and fit in.

A self-help tool that you can use is the Silva Life System. In one of the modules, you will be guided to speak to the child within you who is still taking control of your life.

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