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Ten Naira

by Gellani Tariama
(Bayelsa, Nigeria)

The moment I tried to retain the effort I had a couple of days back, that moment I will forever regret having the gift of flashback. For some moments are better let to wither with the passing of time; because all they have left in them is the torment that I had in a million of years tried to abolished.


Today, 18th of September 2004, I sat at my lonely porch in deep thought of the pass. Yes, in life mistakes had been made, and more are to be made, and in all; one mistake is a life changer. No doubt it was true in my own aspect as I had came to understand things that I was left to not understand when I needed to understand them most in life.


To the truth, I was a kid so maybe the people around took it upon themselves that no matter the explanation, a kid was always a kid. And maybe they were right for no doubt I would not understand the reason for the hardship we faced everyday at home.


My home had never been the best in life, the difference stood out like a mammoth, the difference I could not understand. All mother’s advice to me had been to be wise in life for wisdom was the only thing that set a difference between money and life, that too I could not understand. One day she said to me.


"What better would you do to life if not to live it the way you find it."


For moment I sat contemplating this saying of the woman I considered as the wisest in the whole world. Life had come to us in a mysterious manner but not to me for I was not the man of the house. When I grow up and become a man of my own house then I will know if truly life could not be changed.


"Mama is life not good?" a puzzled me asked.


"Oh no dear, if it is not good then why are we living it?" she gave me a rousing smile "You will enjoy it when you are wise at it."


"How mama?"


She beat my shoulder in an assuring manner. "What do you want to be in life?"


"A politician."


"And what do politicians do?"


"Steal money."


"That's how to be wise at life son, with wisdom you make people shut up and be loyal."


Mother had said the truth to her son in a most assuring manner, and that truth was what had made me to understand just few of the many things in this life to understand. I never knew politicians stole money. I had only still heard her say it to a friend in a hearty discussion, and since then I had made up my mind to be a politician very well to steal money, the never finishing government money as she had referred to the kind of money they steal.


Mother's face had been battered by the man who was her husband, but not my father. Mother was married the second time after nine years, father had turned to be history just two years ago and since mother was too young to remain a widow she took the love of a second man who soon led the way down the aisle and pronounced her his wife.


I was a step son then and still the only child of mother though she was expecting a child of her new husband. It was the previous night that she got the first beat of a husband, because she had always been a pet due to her grand beauty.


"You selfish man." I had heard mother retorted. "Hit me if you truly can and see if I don't say goodbye with my son."


Not that mother was as ignorant as she sounded at that moment, she was only too angry to control herself.


"And see if I care" her husband returned. "You and your damned son."


"Is that what you call him? You ingrate."


"Beware not to alert my anger, I won't regard anyone, not you nor the piece of junk you call a son whom father had left wretched."


"Don't dare call his father." she barked. "He was a better man than you, I remember I never lacked with him as I do now with you."


"Then go back to him" he scoffed "that's if you ever can, you and you little junk."


For a moment I realized mother was trying to stop him from abusing her son, me, whom she referred to as precious.


"I'll hit you if you call him a junk again" she cried "you wimp, you idiot, you don't appreciate the good he had done to you."


"He did me no good."


"Lie, he calls you father and that is one big good you should appreciate and thank him for."


"And you don't talk about the one I feed him and train him in school."


"That is for me not for him."

"Oh, I don't buy it, he's a junk."

So the next thing that I heard was a plaintive cry and a male groan which told me indeed she had advanced to strike him. I feared at that moment for her, because indeed I had to fear. A while later I heard her wailing and calling for help, then after a moment all was silent but the chirrups of the neighboring insects.


I slept that night; I slept in peace and in fear. Mother still could coax me to sleep that night with the tone of fear not my child for all is well, I'll be here for you and you will not hear me cry again as I will not hear you cry. Here is not safe anymore, here we will leave tomorrow.