Do you have a problem with controlling your hot and quick temper? Do you easily get into a rage and violent outburst, displaying your tantrum without thinking about other people's feelings and the impression they make of you?
If you get angry and annoyed and lose your patience at the slightest irritation, you do have an anger management problem. Most of the time you may justify by saying that someone or a situation provoked you. It isn't so. There is something inside you that is the real cause of the problem.
Do you know that it's a pain to deal with a person who has a bad temper? Other people have to endure your crabbiness until you quiet down. It shouldn't make you feel superior but childish and inconsiderate.
"A quick temper will make a fool of you soon enough." - Bruce Lee
Pause for a while and become aware of your state of mind? What is going on in your head right now? And when your anger was flaring, what were you seeing and hearing in your head?
Try to recall the most recent incident when you rant and rave. What was your state of mind then? Were you thinking that people don't listen, pay attention or take notice of you? Did you feel frustrated about something? Were you trying to avoid something?
Becoming aware of your frame of mind is a good starting point. Try your best to pause for a while and look inside when you sense the rage coming. In a way, you are postponing your anger. And if you do this often enough, you will train your mind to react differently until it becomes automatic.
Can you just listen? Don't interrupt. Don't probe. Take 3 deep breaths, keep your mouth shut, put your body in a relaxed state and open your heart. Now, when you are in this state, do you think your temper will rise? Try it.
Have you been doing any physical activity? Why don't you start one that you enjoy and do it consistently? Go jogging or play some games that involve your physique like tennis, swimming, etc.
Let go of your bottled up emotions in a positive manner. Get a life, lots of laughter and plenty of loving. You can't have anger if there is plenty of joy in you. It's all about making the right choice and thinking in the right manner.
The easiest way to relax is doing deep breathing. Other ways are meditation, yoga, and learning to keep your body and mind still. If you make it a habit to take a few deep breaths before you get uptight, you will learn to control and manage your moods.
Change how you see yourself in your mind. See yourself as a composed and calm person in a situation, which you normally would go berserk. Visualize this mental image repeatedly so that it will override the image of the old you. At the same time, affirm to yourself that you choose to become a patient, calm and composed person. Feel how it would feel like if you become the person you aspire to be.
At the end of your day, write down your activities, various states of emotions and reactions. How many states of emotions did you experience? What made you happy, sad, angry, or inspired? This activity will assist you in seeing the triggers that cause you to react to a situation or person. When you can see and understand yourself, other people and situations better, you may recognize the problem and work out a solution.
You can also use hypnosis as an option to manage your anger. Hypnosis will put you into a deep meditative state of mind. During this state of awareness, your mind can accept new instructions to allow you to become a better person and develop a new habit. Here's a link to the manage your anger hypnosis that you can try out.
Have do you feel after throwing your tantrums? Do you feel ashamed, angrier with yourself or feeling sorry afterwards? Why do you have to punish yourself? You don't deserve to feel all of these or other feelings that make you feel upset. Never mind what happens, you deserve to feel happy.
Allow people to be what they are. Respect other people's views. Don't take everything personally and don't hold a grudge.
If you have tried everything on your own and you are still unable to deal with your temper, and especially if you get into violent outbursts and hurt yourself or others, go and get help from an anger management counselor.
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