How to Handle the Silent Treatment?

This is a popular joke on silent treatment.

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the cold shoulder.

The next week, the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence and lose, he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 a.m."

The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 a.m. and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, "It is 5:00 a.m. Wake up."

Many couples have experienced being snubbed in their relationships. Even though mature adults know that this behavior, of ignoring someone on purpose, makes one looks childish and manipulative, they still behave this way.

Why do people give the cold shoulder?

One of the obvious reasons a person ignores someone is to show disapproval, displeasure, or anger. It is also used as a weapon to get even.

Though both genders are guilty of it, it's been said that women are more skilled in this technique.

A relationship will suffer when you pretend that it is not happening. This is especially true if it is your normal way of communicating your needs and emotions.

Communicate. Talk. Understand each other.

Nobody knows what's going on in your head. You have to remember that people, even those closest to you and have known you for a long time, can't read your mind. So you shouldn't assume that he knows what you are upset about. Even if he does, he might think that you are overreacting.

People see things differently. Something that annoys you may not mean anything to another person.

If you keep feeling annoyed by your partner's behavior or language, it's better to take a look at your own attitude instead of giving him the snub.

What if you are the one who have set a certain personal standard and you get upset when you think he has violated it? Have you ever sat down to talk things through and discuss about each other's personal rules in the first place?

Even if you have been wronged, do you think that giving the cold shoulder would correct things? Remember that the more times you apply the silent treatment, the further you are going to drift apart.

So communicate. Talk about feelings. Build the trust and respect.

If you have the desire to behave this way, forget about it. In relationships, it's not about winning or losing.

If you open up, you don't lose. Even if he still wants to clam up, you should give it another try, using a different strategy. When everything is back to the way it should be, you can have a heart to heart talk.

And if you think that he won't listen, change that perception. Think positive and imagine things working out. You create your reality through your thoughts.

The silent treatment may work once, maybe in the early days of a relationship. Don't expect that ignoring him will work the second or third time. If you do it too often, he may reciprocate. The anger will build up, the issues are not solved and you will feel rejected, even abandoned.

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