Self-Pity - The Poor Me Syndrome

Self-pity is the state of feeling sorry for yourself. When you have this "poor me" syndrome, your focus is on your pain, sorrow and suffering, almost always exaggerating them. You feel like a victim and the unfortunate one; the one and only person who have to undergo great misfortunes, the helpless soul.

Two favorite statements are "Why Me?" and "You don't understand." You are so engrossed in your private world, seeing only your struggles and agonizing over them. You compare yourself to other people. Very often you wonder why good things only happen to others while you seem to put up with one calamity after another.

This state of mind can lead you to feeling angry and jealous toward others, sometimes assuming that people look down upon your lack and inadequacy.

It's not because of luck, fate or favoritism. Everyone goes through bad experiences, many as far as their childhood years. In this case, you are not special or the chosen one.

It's more due to the way you perceive events, people and yourself and how you handle your life's situation. It's because you have the wrong attitude of mind. You attracted it into your life by your wrong focus of attention. The easiest way to get out of self-pity is to change the way you think.

Take some time to contemplate. Listen to your self talk. Notice your mental pictures. You are probably talking about and seeing your problems, failures and lack. You must change these silent chatters and negative mental images with positive and affirmative statements and images.

Do you go around telling other people how unfortunate you are? If your friends or family members avoid you, it's because they don't want to have to go through your pity party each time they are around you.

People are generally sympathetic. But too much emphasis on self-pity makes people sick of hearing your tales of anguish, whines and neediness. People who understand and appreciate life and living don't want to hang around those who have negative vibes because these vibrations can sap their positive energy and feeling.

Comparing yourself to others is one of the reasons that you feel inadequate. Look at your own strengths and weaknesses and see how you can improve or work on them. Start where you are, take one step at a time and build yourself gradually.

When you look at other people's achievements, observe how and what they do to reach the level that they have reached instead of feeling envious. Study their strategies, beliefs and actions. These people have done some things that allow them to have more joy. Emulate the good.

The trouble with people who feel sorry for themselves is that they don't notice that there are other people who are going through real sufferings. There are people who are grieving over the loss of loved ones and those who have been struck by a tragedy or disaster.

One of the ways to get out of this self centeredness and the "look at pitiful me" is to go out there and help people who are less fortunate and in need of support, guidance and assistance.

Stop the blame game. It doesn't matter what has happened in the past. Let go and start anew. When you playback your painful past, you will feel melancholy. If you continue to focus on it, you will give in to your emotions and feel more disheartened.

Forgive those who have hurt you and forgive yourself for the things that you should not have said or done.

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