Personal Space - How Close is Too Close

Edward T. Hall stated that personal space is the region surrounding each person, or that area which a person considers their domain or territory.

If you feel very uncomfortable, nervous or irritated when someone gets too close physically, emotionally or verbally, that means the person has invaded your personal boundaries. How far and how much one needs varies for each person and depends on her personal values, sensitivity and beliefs.

Everyone needs some space and room to breathe where you can do your own thing and be yourself. In an intimate relationship, being too clingy can result in suffocation. This is one of the reasons why you hear people asking for a break or to distance themselves for a while in relationships.

How close is too close for you is your own jurisdiction. You can tell from your gut feeling. The best way to make other people understand is to communicate your needs. Don't assume they will understand.

How to Set Personal Boundaries

State it clearly from the beginning.

One of the ways to set your personal space in relationship is to state it clearly in the beginning. Inform your partner of your rules, and how close you can allow him into your life and how much breathing space you need for yourself. Ask the same from your partner too. Give him some area for himself. Don't wait until he demands for it. By this time, usually, he is fed up with the lack of personal freedom.

State your privacy guideline.

When it comes to friends, it is healthy to mention about your privacy rules. Let them know that there are some things very private and are not meant to be shared or intruded. This will avoid from having your friends to get too personal.

Create your own legroom or elbowroom.

Personal space is not only the invisible distance that someone can come close to you. You also need an area at home or at work where you feel so much at ease. Unless you create your own comfort zone, you are going to feel like an outsider at your own place.

Use nonverbal communication or body language.

When it comes to strangers, it's improper to tell them that you need a gap. One of the ways to show it is to use your body gestures and apply nonverbal communication. Most people understand what you mean when you fold your arms around you.

"Relationships of all kinds are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto some of it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost." - Author Unknown