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Tip: Be Happy by Letting Yourself be Sad

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You’re probably thinking, “That’s crazy! Sad is the opposite of happy!” and you’re right. But just because you’re sad doesn’t mean you’ll never be happy again right? Here are a few ways that being sad can actually help you be happier.

Letting Yourself Cry 

When you feel an intense (unhappy) emotion, let yourself feel it, rather than pushing it away. When you let that feel sort of wash over you, without entirely controlling your whole life, you’re essentially telling your body, “We are human, and humans feel a range of emotions.” When you don’t let yourself express your sadness (or any other supposed “negative” emotion), you deny your body that release, and it will internalize it, making you hold in that bad energy that can make you sick and generally much more unhappy.

Crying beautiful woman photo

Crying beautiful woman photo

 

Grief Shows You a Lot 

Are you sad because a relationship ended or you lost a loved one? By being sad, you’re allowing yourself to grieve properly, and to say that this person or this relationship was really important to me, and I’m sad it’s gone. But it also shows you that you value that sort of relationship, or that sort of person, and you can cherish what those things did for you as a person. It may also show you things that you wish you could have changed, that maybe you can change the next time around. Maybe you wish you had said, “I love you” more, and now you can start saying it to the people who truly care. Grow from what makes you sad to make your life happier moving forward.

Happy = Healthy 

If you internalize your sadness and “negative” emotions, you’re telling your body to store all of that bad juju. That bad juju keeps growing and growing because it doesn’t have an outlet, and you can’t get over the sadness (or anger, or whatever). Then, it’s a downward spiral into emotions you can’t control, which in turn affect your outlook on life and your health. You can’t be healthy and be sad all the time – it just doesn’t work that way. You can’t be happy when you’re sad all the time. So let it out. Tell someone if you’re sad, work through it somehow, and get it out. Even if you don’t feel like talking about it, releasing some of that burden can help you lighten the load and the sun can come back in.

Happy active family jumping in green field against blue sky. Summer vacation concept

Happy active family jumping in green field against blue sky. Summer vacation concept

Sadness is Strength 

People who have been through the most often are the strongest people you know. Even when they’ve experienced incredible sadness, they come out victorious on the other side. Let this be a lesson for your life; no matter what events knock you down, you can grow from them. Sadness is something that tends to show us what is most important in life, and show us what we don’t want to feel again. Don’t get stuck in it; grow from it, and make your life better because you’ve been through it.

How Success and Happiness Affect Each Other

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You know that feeling when you’ve really made it? Where you feel like you’ve made a difference, established yourself in a job or career that makes you happy? Plus it pays the bills? Maybe you don’t, but it’s something that most of us aim for, right? If you’re wondering if you have to be successful to be happy, here is why the two are often so interchangeable in our world today.

Money Can Buy Happiness 

Even if you’re shaking your head, money does buy us a modicum of happiness. It buys us a secure roof over our heads, great food on the table, lets us live our dreams (having kids, traveling the world, saving for retirement, etc.), and gives us a little extra cushion in case something goes wrong. You know this is true, because not having money means that you’re stressed, you’re digging for change in the couch cushions, and you’re wondering when you’re going to stop feeling this way. Having a successful life – whether as an employee, investor, entrepreneur, whatever you want to be – means that you produce enough income to pay for your lifestyle. Therefore, in this case, success does equate to happiness.

Work Gives us Value  

You know that soul sucking job that you just hate? How you feel like crying whenever you walk the door? And you know that job that you fantasize about, where you love your coworkers and you do work that you love? Well, this is further proof that how we define success makes us happier. If you had that job you loved, even if it paid less than the soul sucking one you want to leave, wouldn’t you be happier? Wouldn’t you be able to come home at night and not drink 3 beers just to get over the day you had? Having work we love provide us value means that we, as humans, feel more useful, more happy, and yes, more successful.

Couple on a jetty at Lake Ianthe, West Coast, South Island, New Zealand, Pacific

Couple on a jetty at Lake Ianthe, West Coast, South Island, New Zealand, Pacific

Happiness = Success 

Let’s flip the tables for a moment, and consider how much happiness can create success. Don’t you feel more successful when you’re happy at work? Doesn’t going to work with a good mood make you feel a little better about everything you do in a day? Being happy actually gives us more ability to become successful , as we have more energy and more desire to do the things that make us successful. This can either mean in monetary value – what we make from a job when we’re happier there – or in personal value – feeling like maybe we’re doing something really good for the company or others when we do this specific job. Happiness also changes our outlook on life. When we choose to be happy, doesn’t everything sort of fall into place? That washer that just went out is a pain, sure, but it’s an obstacle you can overcome because you’re not going to let it drag you down. Don’t let your external events define your happiness.

Is a Technology Hiatus the Right Path to Happiness?

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Odds are, you’re reading this on your phone. Or your laptop.Or your tablet.Or your infrared eyeball scanner? Quit reading this if you’re a cyborg.

However you’re consuming this information, you’re using that same technology to consume other information – probably much less useful information. You probably check Facebook while you’re on the toilet, and your phone is probably the first thing you check when you wake up in the morning. Maybe you start to get sweaty in the palms when you can’t find your phone. Maybe the Internet goes out and you think it’s the end of the world. We’re all guilty, so don’t feel bad, but there are a few ways that breaking your addiction to technology can make you happier.

More Time

Do you spend a lot of time perusing the Internet, email, or cute YouTube cat videos (me too)? Do you look up and realize you’re late for a meeting, or you don’t even know where your children are? We’ve all had this problem, and you can lose major time when you’re not being mindful of it. For this reason, a technology hiatus can create more happiness in your life. Think about how much free time you’ll have when you’re not hunched over your device of choice, and think about how many different hobbies you can pursue when you’re not stalking your ex-boyfriends on Facebook.

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Better Relationships 

We all see it – the sad group of friends at the dinner table that are all looking down at their phones, not interacting with each other and ignoring the really mad waitress. You think, “Oh that’s so sad,” and then look down at your phone to read your newest alert. You’re just as guilty as anyone else. When you ignore the people around you to pay attention to your smart phone, you’re sacrificing really great conversation and connection to the people you love most (or haven’t even met yet). Think about all the people you could have met (including Mr. or Mrs. Right!), but you were too busy looking down at your phone to notice them from across the room. Doh!

Longer Life  

Distracted driving is the number one killer in auto accidents in the United States. It’s a real problem. Don’t even act like you’re not guilty either – you check your latest text message or email alert just like the car next to you. When you do this, you’re essentially saying, “I value this unimportant notification over my life and the safety of the vehicles around me.” We’re all real jerks, and we really need to knock it off. There are also studies indicating that people who sit at desks or hunch over tech devices day in and day out are more prone to life threatening issues, like blood clots, hypertension, obesity, stress (leading to heart attacks), and more. More and more, we are realizing that our devices are not exactly conducive to the healthiest lifestyles, and we need to change.