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Help for Overcoming Fear

Included in any long list of fears are the fear of flying, fear of public speaking, fear of heights, failure, rejection and intimacy. When a person fears something, his mind sees or perceives that there is danger ahead. If the fear is so intense, it develops into a phobia. Unlike a phobic who will feel terrified even at the thought of the thing that he fears, a person who has a fear can still face it if he has to do it, but with a lot of anxieties.

Unlike the fear or driving or the fear of spiders, some fears aren't obvious. A person who has the fear of commitment may sabotage his intimate relationships and is not able to have a long lasting one. The fear of success for example could be one of the reasons why people procrastinate. The fear of the unknown is one of the reason why people remain stuck even when things are not working in their lives.

A very frightening or humiliating experience that happened in the past is one of the underlying causes of fears. The person may have experienced the incident only once but the emotion that was attached to it will remain ingrained in his mind forever unless he conquers it. Having seen, read or heard something horrifying that lead to feeling traumatized is another reason for developing a fear or phobia.

How to Overcome Fear

Visualization

The brain is a powerful tool. It helps you remember the trauma and emotions that you once experienced. So if you are afraid of flying but have to do it, your brain will bring forth the mental images associated with the fear. When you keep thinking and seeing these mental images, your fear is intensified.

Visualization will also help you in overcoming fears. You may not have a positive image of flying but you can create one. The brain doesn't know the difference between an actual event and something that you create.

What you have to do is put yourself in a relaxed state of body and mind. Sit straight or lie down, inhale deeply from your stomach, hold your breath for a few seconds and then release slowly through your mouth. Do this breathing exercise about 3 times. Close your eyes and put yourself in the situation which you normally are fearful. But this time, walk and act confidently and enjoy the moment.

You must practice the visualization exercise daily and as you continue doing, your mental images will improve and so will your confidence. To help you visualize a desirable outcome, look out for pleasant pictures that you can bring along into your mental movie.

Affirmations

Use positive affirmation as a tool for overcoming fear. After you have finished visualizing. Say phrases such as "I choose to enjoy...," "I choose to feel confident" and "I choose to feel calm and relaxed."

Whenever you notice negative thoughts pop up in your mind relating to the fear, say "cancel." Immediately replace the thoughts with the mental images that you created during the visualization exercise together with the positive affirmations. When you do this pattern interrupt, you are able to change your state of mind and focus. If you do it often enough, your brain will get the message.

Act As If and Then Do It

After you have done your visualization and affirmation exercises, the other thing to do is to act as if you are confident and calm. If you are afraid of speaking in public, you can start by standing in front of the mirror and practice your speech.

If your weakness is dating, try to fix a date and get going. If you are afraid or crowd or people, try meeting a small group first and keep the mental image that you have visualized in your mind. Act confidently, walk upright and smile even if you still have trepidations.

Tools for Overcoming Fear

Self help tools that are available to help you get rid of your fear are self hypnosis, subliminal messages and NLP. If you have a public speaking fear, you can get help from a successful public speaking coach or you can join toastmasters.

You may have to look deeper if your fear is deeply rooted. You may have been abused when you were a child and this could be the reason for your fear of intimacy. If you have experienced neglect, it may show up in your adult years as fear or the dark, fear of abandonment or fear of being alone. If this is your case, emotional freedom technique or the EFT tapping may help release the emotions.

Some Points to Consider Regarding Fears

1. Overcoming fear is difficult if you believe that it is. No tools can help you unless you want to help yourself and really want to change.
   
   
   
2. Try to be realistic. You may have been rejected once and felt humiliated but it doesn't have to happen again. Maybe, you were too young and immature then. There is always someone else out there. But first, you must change the way you view relationships.
   
   
   
3. If you fear death, remind yourself that everyone will have to face it one day. Nobody escapes death. What's important is to enjoy living while you are alive.
   
   
   
4. It's a good exercise to question your thoughts. Imagine how you will behave and what it would be like if the fear doesn't exist. Take a little bit of your time to write down your fears and reason out the issues. If you were to really think about it, you will discover that your fears are an extension of your past. In the present, it is all in your mind.
   
   
   
5. You can't get rid of the clowns, the spiders, snakes or the balloons but you can avoid them. You can take a cruise, drive or travel by train but you still need to take the flight to certain destinations. So avoidance is only a temporary solution. The permanent solution for overcoming fear is to make the shift from the inside. You must let go, erase fearful images and corresponding negative emotions.

More Topics on Overcoming Fear

List of Fears

Fear of Public Speaking

Fear of Failure

Fear of Rejection