One of The Skills That Is Useful to Learn, Understand and Apply is Nonverbal Communication.

Nonverbal communication simply refers to delivering, conveying or transmitting a message without using words. So what do you use? It is conveyed through the eyes, the body and sounds.

You usually can interpret the meaning of a moan or a sigh depending on the situation and the person who produces it. Gestures and body movements as well as face expressions tell a lot about the state of a person's mind and his moods. The eye movements tell a lot too if you are aware and pay attention.

Understanding and applying nonverbal communication is helpful to your career, your relationships and your personal growth. Here's why.

• They act as cues.

Knowing when a person is listening or show boredom for example, is a feedback you can use to change a subject, stop your conversations or proceed to your next objective. Watching a person’s facial expression will allow you to know what's in his mind.

Although you can't judge a person fully from his gestures or nonverbal suggestions, every one of us have developed a habit or expression that we repeatedly do without thinking about it. You can tell a lot from watching and observing the cues especially from people that you associate with regularly.

Knowing this help you condition yourself to act the way you want other people to perceive you. Once you have conditioned and get it into your neurology, you can easily access and produce the desired gestures or expressions to suit the situation.

• Saying it with style.

Words spoken alone do not affect a person’s state of mind or his feelings. When you add gestures, eye movements and facial expressions you create congruency to the message that you are delivering.

When you say "I love you to someone" and either touch or hug him and look in his eyes, you become believable. You can use gestures and eye movements without words to influence but words alone are not convincing enough to persuade. That is why it is harder to convince with written words without seeing face to face.

• You can create influence by "mirroring" or "matching".

Mirroring is a term used in NLP to describe adopting other people's behaviors as though you were a "mirror image" while matching means adopting parts of another person’s behaviors such as particular gestures, facial expressions, tone of voice and so on. (Adapted from Unlimited Power by Anthony Robbins).

The ability to do this develops rapport, which is an unconscious human interaction. That means you can take advantage of people’s nonverbal gestures to subtly gain his interest and trust and then influence him to your thinking.

It may sound manipulative but it is not unless you have intention to do so. Understanding nonverbal communication is useful for you to make your parents, children, prospective clients or your boss to understand you better and listen to your views and you are able to do the same.

How then do you develop the understanding and skill?

• Becoming aware.

You have to become aware of the movements and expressions. To do so, you need to observe and watch. Ask your partner each time he mind-reads your expressions or gestures to find out what you are transmitting unconsciously. Once you become aware of what you or others are expressing, you will have choices.

• Learning about the messages and meanings.

There are various meanings in nonverbal communication but you only need to know several that are useful to your daily interactions. You can find the knowledge and information from books and other materials. Learning about eye movements can assist you to identify how a person is feeling and whether he is recalling or creating stories.

You could improve by asking the person questions to find out whether what he was trying to express match what you were thinking or assuming. The more accurate you are, the more you will develop the skill to read nonverbal communication.

• Act as if.

You can feel frustrated and depressed any time even with the slightest trigger but to maintain your happiness and enthusiasm is usually not something you choose. You can improve your nonverbal communication by "acting as if".

By doing so, you can change your feelings and whatever you feel on the inside will show on the outside. It is seen from your posture and your face expressions.

• Changing how and what you picture in your mind.

The pictures and images in your mind create your feelings and it is seen outwardly. To change your nonverbal communication through your expressions on the outside, change or re-frame the pictures in your head. An uplifting song playing in your mind helps too in changing your state and thus your actions.

• Learn to interrupt patterns of gestures.

Interruptions are useful in breaking nonverbal communication patterns of gestures and expressions. You can do something out of the ordinary to break other people's pattern or your own mood. Once you break the pattern of thoughts, you create a different reaction and change the state of mind.

Even just taking deep breathing or standing up helps to break the limiting patterns. Doing this often enough will make you a better communicator and interesting to have around.