by Chrissy
(California)
I've only recently learned that I have no self respect. Growing up, my parents were very strict with my sister and I. And we were not allowed to have our own opinions or question authority. If we did question anything, then we were being disrespectful and "talking back."
Our parents never praised us for any accomplishments or for doing any chores. We were also never hugged and we never heard the words "I love you." I never felt like a child growing up, instead, I felt like a servant because we were always cleaning something or doing yard work and if we did decide to play or watch television, we were called lazy and useless.
Growing up, I never felt bad about my situation because i thought that all kids were raised like this since we were never allowed to go to friends houses either so I didn't know anything else. So when I became older, I thought that all people were treated this way and when i began to date and enter into relationships with the wrong men, i never saw the red flags of abuse because being treated rotten was just a normal way of life for me.
In my first relationship, my boyfriend began cheating on me from the very beginning but I stayed with him because he threatened to reveal obscenities about me to my parents if i didn't.
Things did get better in our relationship for a while but about a year later, he began beating me. Still, I stayed because of threats of humiliation. About four years into our relationship, I left him because I found another man. This man treated me like a princess and promised me everything in the world. About a month into our relationship though, he became very paranoid and constantly accused me of cheating and sleeping around.
Everywhere I went, he made me text pictures of my self to prove that I was where I said I was at, and he constantly sent me obscene texts in which he accused me of prostitution and sleeping with co-workers.
I only stayed with this guy for four months because some family members discovered these text messages and forbade me from seeing him any more. If it wasn't for that, I would still be with him.
I put up with these men because I am so used to being unloved and put down that i really don't realize that i am being mistreated until someone else recognizes it for me.
I really want to change this view point that I have but I don't know how. And when I do get into a bad situation, I get scared and I can't get out. I know that I don't have any self respect and I hope that I can start to change.
Response To Anonymous by Janet (eire)
Thank you for your valued response. But the point I am trying to make is that no one should be at any stage in their life where they are subservient to others.
We all have a very valuable gift from God, and no person on this earth has the right to make anyone feel they are less than adequate.
If a person is put in this situation, then I would pray that God would help them to stand up for themselves and others in the same situation. We are beholden to God and his teachings and values. We are here to help each other, not to own each other.
God bless.
Comments: No self respect - by: Anonymous
Hi there,
Self respect you have in abundance. Just tap into it, you'll be surprised what you will find.
You're story is very moving.
But now let it go. Turn towards the sun. Believe in your higher self and you will soar above everything that has been holding you down.
Remember, believe in your higher self.
All the best.