by Courtney
(Ohio)
As a young adult, I experienced a lot of rejection, abandonment, disappointment, and recurring negativity. I grew up in a sheltered and negative environment.
What was suppose to by my foundation as a child, was causing the low self esteem that has developed over the years. The low self esteem progressed into major insecurity and fear. As a young adult, I rarely received positive reinforcement which only reinforced my insecurity.
I felt as if I was never good enough and never could make others happy. I still struggle with this feeling today; I am always feeling unhappy and have little confidence.
Insecurity damages one's self image and personal relationships. I realized one day, by examining my behavior, that I was dealing with insecurity. I knew it was a problem, but I didn't know how to fix the problem.
I was unhappy because I was letting the insecurity and fear in my mind control me, negatively affecting my behavior. I thought that if I knew where the pain had come from I could get rid of the insecure and negative feelings. I relied on others to make me feel secure and happy.
It has taken me until now to realize that nobody can give your life happiness and security but yourself.
Insecurity is a tough thing to deal with, for anyone who is affected by it. Fear, mistrust, control, manipulation, and worry are all behaviors that are caused by insecurity that I deal with on a daily basis.
I was trying to fix my problem with insecurity by fixing those little behaviors. But you can't fix your negative mindset and thoughts about yourself by trying to change little behaviors that stem from the negative thoughts. You have to kill the source of the behavior.
The only thing that you can do to overcome this is to change your mindset. Reinforce any negative thoughts or feelings with positive.
Give yourself compliments and praise, rather than criticism. Realize that you are not a perfect person, and you cannot expect to reach goals set out of perfection. Trying to reach a goal of perfection will end in failure and will only reinforce those negative feelings of "I am not good enough".
Your happiness and confidence relies on what you choose to believe about yourself and your life. Having the chance to do things that make you happy can always help you find happiness in your life, but you still need to be confident and happy with yourself to remain happy.
Searching for happiness with outside sources alone will still result in a failed attempt. Only you can bring yourself happiness, satisfaction, accomplishment, confidence, and security.
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