by Jenna
(Gordon)
I recently had a loss of a parent. I don't mean death either. She attempted suicide and did not get what she wanted.
My mother and step father split up after 23 years and my mom feel apart. She felt that she had nothing to live for. She forgot her 3 kids and 3 grandchildren.She has been in and out of the psychic ward for four weeks and her health is still failing.
I feel like she is already dead. She is not the same, she is lost, sad, angry, and mean. She is ok to talk to one minute and the next we are horrible kids.
I can't find myself in this mess. I need to care for my kids and husband, but I am hurting inside. I feel pain and loss!
I am lost! I am lost in my own fears! I can not show them as I am a professional working mom, and I have always been the strong one, the smart one.
These days I am just lost. I can not sort these thoughts, this pain, this fear, and most of all the sadness.
They say you stop mourning a death when the flowers die, but how do you come back from this. No death in life, just death in what you have always known to be life.
Everyone says to stay away from her and let her heal. She is only going to make this harder for you. Damn IT!
I want to hug my mom and tell her its ok. I want to say I will be there for you. I don't agree with what she has done. She has been mean, horrible and said some really hurtful things.
But some strange connection makes me want to hold on and not let go. How do I do this?? I am lost, sad and confused!