Laugh Lines.

Heard on a bus ride.

The bus traveling home from downtown after work was crowded as usual, everyone silently caught up in his own little world. Suddenly, from the back of the bus, a woman shrieked.

"I'm on the bus!"

We all turned to see who thought that was unusual. The red-faced passenger meekly explained, "But I brought my car to work today!"

Contributed by: J. McMahon

The first gray hair.

When I discovered my gray hair I immediately wrote to my parents.

I taped the offending hair on the paper and mailed it. My father's response.

Contributed by: Lisa Settje

At the vet's office

My cat had a cough and so I took her to see the vet. Not having pet carrier to transport her in, I put her in a cardboard box instead.

When I arrived at the vet's office, the receptionist eyed my box and said, "I'm sorry, but I don't think we can do much for you."

Only then did I notice what was printed on the side of the box: "Deep Frozen Chicken."

Contributed by: Clare Altham

Eavesdropping.

A friend and I were eating lunch in a crowded restaurant an overheard a conversation between two women at the next table.

"I don't know what to do with her." one woman confided. She comes and goes, and if I tell her I like to know where she is, she says it's her life and she'll live it as she pleases. She eats junk food and laughs when I point out the benefits of nutrition."

"Sounds exactly like my daughter," my fried murmured. "Why are teenagers so impossible?"

"It's a phase that we all go through," I replied.

Just then the woman's voice came through again.

"I never realized that a seventy year old woman could be so impossible," she lamented. "I just don't know what I'm going to do with Mother!"

Contributed by: Marguerite McClain

Setting an example

We had been nursing a bed of feeble flowers all summer long. One day the flowers managed to bloom, but their performance was upstaged by an enormous weed that towered above them.

"We really ought to get rid of that weed," I commented.

"No way!" my wife protested. "I'm relying on it to set the flowers an example."

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