"Everyone makes a greater effort to hurt other people than to help himself". - Alexis Carrel

Feeling hurt is an emotional disturbance. When a person is distressed, she gets into a state of confusion.

This emotion is generated by a sense of loss of either intimacy or trust. The loss of a particular relationship is unbearable.

All she could think of is how much she is hurting inside. The heart cries out in pain. And there is a sense of emptiness.

This emotional pain is a negative feeling. It relates to thoughts of the past or the future. The sensation however, is real and in the present.

When you get upset about what somebody has done, you have allowed that person to have control over your life. You may have a certain expectation and it was not met. You can do something about it starting today to make a difference.

• Explore your thoughts.

Are your thoughts and pictures in your mind of those of loss, pain and unhappiness? You need to change those images.

Feelings follow thoughts. Change your thoughts and you change your feelings. If you find that difficult to do, get up and change your physiology by moving your body.

• Take responsibility.

You are responsible for how you feel. You make yourself suffer from mental anguish from the things you say to yourself about a person's reaction.

Allow people to behave the way they are. Refuse to allow people who judge or wrong you to take control of your life.

• Detach from the situation or person.

Track the source of your pain. Detach yourself from the situation to enable you to see the reason behind. Look at what you can do next to make a difference.

• Forgive and move on.

Avoid lashing at others. Tell the person that you were affected, forgive him and move on.

Practice forgiveness so that you can move on from suffering. Unresolved pain will create anger, anxiety and depression.

Whether you can take control of your emotional pain or otherwise is up to you. It takes determination.

You can succumb to your pain or choose to stay strong and happy. Decline to cry over small hurts.

Life is too short and even your darkest hour should not leave you stranded. Remember that all is not lost. There is always peace ahead. Get back up.

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