Have You Been Hurt Before

Have you been hurt before, the time when you felt really upset, crushed and emotionally wounded?

You may have experienced a broken heart at least once in your lifetime. It was awfully painful right? Probably at that time you thought that your suffering and distress will go on forever and that you will never, ever heal and forgive the person who caused your anguish.

There is a popular saying that time heals all wounds. Many people do forgive, forget and move on as time goes by. But, there are also a large number of people who, unconsciously though, can't or won't let go of their emotional pain, resentment, and anger.

There are several reasons that can bruise a person's feeling. One of the most common but very subtle and usually unrecognizable is caused by adverse childhood experiences. These "walking wounded" usually have suffered emotional wounds and have low self esteem.

The one that people can acknowledge most is feeling extremely saddened by a loss or the breakup of a relationship. They say, "Love hurts." But do you think that's accurate? Doesn't love make you feel ecstatic, blissful and blessed? Think about it.

Another cause of feeling offended and sad is when someone you trust betrays or lies to you. This is especially so if she is your best friend, spouse or partner.

Rumors, gossips, bad mouthing and back biting you hear from fellow workers, friends and relatives will also cause heartache.

Promises have been broken, marriages dissolved, and friends disappeared. That's part of life. And life is too short. It's not worth to take too long to mourn over a breakup, remain in a daze or live in memories of the past. All is not lost. You still have yourself to love and respect. There is always something better out there. Get back up and get going.

Forgive, release those feelings and let them go. It isn't easy especially if you have been betrayed or emotionally wounded. But then what good does it do to you to hold on to your torment. It will only create more wrath, sadness and bitterness. And it will affect your esteem, productivity and growth.

If you can bring yourself to do it, tell him that he has disappointed you but you are willing to forgive. If you can't but want to release your frustrations, write a letter. You don't have to deliver it. Just write and pour out your thoughts and emotions and keep that letter. It's one of several healing processes.

You can't keep people's mouth shut. Many people have the penchant to gossip, spread rumors and back mouth. As long as you live by your own personal values and principle, take no offence. They'll leave you alone if they notice that you aren't affected and once they have someone else to talk about.

If you keep seeing the same pictures and hearing the conversations over and over in your mind, you are creating more intense emotions. You will keep on hurting yourself. The solution is to change your focus of attention. Whenever these thoughts enter your mind, snap out of it and replace them with other positive images and affirmations. Or do some physical activities to change yoru physiology.

If you want to go through the self pity session, go on. But, give yourself a time limit. How long do you think you need to get over your heartache? One caveat, don't take too long. It's tough to get out of it.

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