How to Love Yourself
How to Love Yourself - Steps to Loving Yourself and Developing Self Love
How often do you say "I hate myself" or "I wish I was dead" silently or out loud. How do you feel about yourself when you look in the mirror? Do you say to yourself that you are ugly and fat? Do you feel that you don't deserve your spouse or lover because you are not good enough for him or her? These are some of the signs of self hatred or self loathing.
When self love is missing, so are self respect, self acceptance and self worth. You feel unhappy most of the time. And your relationship may suffer not because your partner put you down but because you put yourself down.
Learning how to love yourself may help overcome depression. It may help you stop self destructive behavior such as self harm cutting and bad or negative attitude.
If you want to attract love, think loving thoughts. If you want other people to love you, learn how to love yourself first. How do you do that? Listed below are steps on how to love yourself that might help you stop feeling sorry and ashamed of yourself.
How to Love Yourself No. 1 - Willingness to Learn to Love Yourself
When you admit that you have been unkind to yourself and you are willing to heal yourself from self hate, you can begin to learn how to love yourself. This firm decision is important. When you are determined, your mind is focused. You will do anything and find ways to love yourself and feel good about you.
How to Love Yourself No. 2 - Forgiveness
You may have done foolish things and think that you are stupid. Until you forgive yourself, you will feel ashamed and unworthy for the rest of your life. You will hate yourself more and do more silly things to compensate. So how do you forgive yourself?
Self acceptance is one of the ways to forgive yourself and develop self love. Admit that you have done wrong and you are angry and upset. Remind yourself that everyone messes up their life once in a while and you happen to do the same. Admit that you were immature then and now that you know better, you will avoid repeating the mistake.
Your parents or other domineering adults who brought you up may have contributed to your present outlook. He or she may have put you down too often. Your parent may have been over protective and had instill fears in you. Or he or she may have never commended or praised you for your good behavior or good grades in school that have made you feel that you are never good enough. Release the anger, resentment and hurt by forgiving your parent or anyone else who have caused you to feel the way you do.
How to Love Yourself No. 3 - Replace Self Criticism with Positive Affirmations
Change your negative self talk and replace self criticism with positive affirmations. Each time you hear your inner voice berating or criticizing, stop it. This positive affirmation may help.
Even though I have made a mistake, I accept who I am. I now choose to forgive myself and the person who has contributed to make me feel this way. And I know choose to completely and deeply forgive, accept and love myself.
Get creative and make your own positive statements and say them out each time negative thoughts fill your mind. Write them down too so that you can imprint the positive words in your mind. When you change your internal communication, your feelings will also change and so will your focus of attention.
Use emotional freedom technique to release deep issues that is stopping you from developing self love. EFT is a self healing tool. It will help you remove the emotional blocks that are preventing you from letting go of your anger, guilt and resentment toward yourself and others.
How to Love Yourself No. 4 - Change the Mental Pictures
At the same time change your mental pictures. If you keep seeing mental images of being rejected, unloved and unwanted, those thoughts will make you feel depressed. Recall pleasant experiences and if you can't find any, deliberately create pleasurable mental pictures that will make you feel happy.
To help you recall, think of an event that made you happy? What have you achieved that you are proud of? You may think that you have never been appreciated but try harder to remember positive comments or praises that have you received from friends, family, co workers and your boss?
How to Love Yourself No. 5 - Acknowledge Your Worthiness
It is important to acknowledge your worthiness so that your relationship will work out and last. What would happen if you think that you are not good enough for your spouse? Always remember that you did not force him or her to love you. It is something good in you that attracted him to you. So, identify your strengths and good qualities and acknowledge them.
Think back and recall your achievements. Ask yourself, "What am I proud about myself?" When you have a sense of pride, you will realize that you don't need people's opinions to feel good. When you know how to make yourself happy, you will also realize that you don't need other people's consent and approval. People around you will sense your confidence and feeling of self worth and they will react positively towards you.
How to Love Yourself No. 6 - Take Care of Your Body
If you use foods to drown your emotions, it is about time to stop emotional eating. It can lead to overweight and obesity. When this happens, you will hate your body and yourself more.
Be kind to your body. Don't injure it. If you feel upset, go out in the open and exercise. Exercise helps your brain release a neurotransmitter that makes you feel good. And if you do regular aerobic exercise, you can maintain a healthy weight.
How to Love Yourself No. 7 - Journal Your Thoughts
Journaling is a very helpful activity during the process of learning how to love yourself. When you write down your thoughts and reactions to situations, you are able to recognize them and notice your pattern of thinking and feeling. It will help you identify what triggered your emotions and why it made you feel out of sort. You can then make the necessary changes.
How to Love Yourself No. 8 - Take Time for Contemplation and Reflection
At the end of the day, allocate a little bit of time to meditate or do a relaxation exercise. Any mind-body relaxation exercise will benefit you because it helps release muscle tension and fatigue. When your body and mind is relaxed, you can have better control over your emotions. You are able to release stress and anxiety and feel more calm and happy.
Relaxation exercise is able to alter your brain waves. When your brain waves are in the alpha level, you can create pleasant mental pictures, visualize a new self image and affirm positive statements and loving thoughts.
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