Guilt and Shame - Heavy Burdens to Bear

Guilt is a distressing emotional state. It happens when a person feels or believes that she has done wrong or has violated an ethical or moral standard.

This feeling is usually accompanied with shame, regret or remorse, depending on the intensity of the wrongdoing.

Being aware, admitting and taking responsibility when you have committed a dishonest, unethical or immoral act is righteous. It allows you to seek apology from the person you have offended or victimized and make amends for your misconduct.

When a person is ignorant of her misdemeanors she will keep repeating them without thinking of the consequences until something happen to awaken her. Usually the outcome isn't pleasant.

Feeling guilty can become a heavy burden to bear and will affect a person's health, quality of life, relationship and intimacy. This happens when she realizes her mistake but is unable to make a confession, ask for forgiveness and remove the feeling of self reproach.

It isn't easy to make a confession to a spouse when it comes to infidelity, adultery and extramarital affairs. It can backfire. The person who has been hurt will use it as a weapon against your conscience. And you'll have an additional problem to deal with, which is distrust.

It's also difficult for some people to confess of whatever their wrongdoing were because of the ego and pride getting in the way, for fear of rejection, abandonment or getting caught in a tight spot.

You have two options here. One is to confide to someone whom you can trust and believe that she will not betray you. The other way is to write down your thoughts and feelings.

Confession alone is not enough. You should apologize and seek forgiveness. Some people may not forgive. That's alright. The most important thing is that you are sincere about it.

If for whatever reason that you can't communicate or reach out to that person but feel that you have to do it, use other means. Use a third person to convey your message. Nowadays people use text messaging, sms and other creative ways to "break the ice". Though you can use these strategies, nothing beats talking face to face.

People who are religiously inclined will find that seeking repentance from God is a route to help them heal their souls from feeling guilty, ashamed, and contrite of the sins that they have committed.

In certain unavoidable situations, a person may be unable to admit wrong, apologize or make reparation to someone for the damages, hurt or loss she has caused. Make it up by giving back to someone else. Do anything good or virtuous that'll help you clear your conscience.

One very important and necessary move, forgive yourself. People can forgive you but if you don't release yourself from the remorse and shame, you are going to go through a silent punishment. You'll lose your esteem, the feeling of worthiness and self respect. You'll do several disastrous things to punish and sabotage yourself until you're wasted.

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