"Forgive all who have offended you, not for them, but for yourself." - Harriet Nelson

When you forgive yourself or someone else for a wrongdoing or injustice, you are closing the chapter from your past. It shows that you have stopped all the blame and resentment.

Why are people unforgiving and keep holding on to bitterness and anger?

• Having an unforgiving heart.

• Associating it with a sense of power or dominance by making the other person feels guilty.

• Feeling guilty about your past.

• Afraid to face the uncertainties of the future.

• To seek revenge.

What are the positive effects of forgiving?

• Eliminates hurt.

• Changes focus.

• Improves health and well being.

• Opens the heart to feel love, warmth and understanding.

• Sets you free from grudges and ill feelings.

How to forgive and forget.

• Love yourself.

You get angry or hurt because you think that you have been unfairly treated. You blamed him for causing your pain. In actual fact the things that affected you happened because you allowed yourself to feel offended.

Self-love is a feeling of worthy and respect toward oneself. With considerable amount of self-love, you prevent yourself from allowing others to have control over your emotions and thoughts.

• Pardon yourself.

You must learn how to pardon yourself first before you can pardon others. If you have made mistakes and errors in your judgments and actions, realize that you were once ignorant or selfish. You may have been unaware of the repercussions of your actions.

Forgiving yourself frees your mind from self-hate and self-destructive habits and attitudes. It's never too late to achieve a peace of mind.

• Maintain your spiritual, mental and emotional strength.

There are people out there who gain pleasures from hurting others and hurling abuses. Refuse to allow them to break your spirit. Stay strong inside and face the challenges. Keep in mind that regardless of what they do, your goodness is never lost.

Pardon them for their ignorance and tell yourself that they are only revealing what exist inside their hearts and souls.

• Apologize.

You must also learn to apologize to those whom you have caused pain and anguish. Do it sincerely and with conviction. Admit your mistakes and promise yourself that you will not repeat them.

• Look for the good in people.

One of the reasons you are holding on to your grudges is because you focus on the negatives. Always think and look for the good in people and situations. By doing that you can't feel angry at the same time.

People fail to see the good in others but you can make a choice to think and see differently. Love others unconditionally. Love people for just being themselves and for being there to teach you lessons about life.

• Focus on your future.

Perpetuating on the object of your anger will make you think negative thoughts and cause immense stress. By focusing on your personal growth and future, you forget your hostility and bitterness.

• Do it now.

If you need to apologize or pardon someone, today is the day. Don't wait for the right time because you may not live long enough. Life is short. The sooner you do it, the better you will feel about yourself.

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