How to Deal with Change - Tips for Dealing with Change in Your Personal Life
Change is unavoidable because everyone will go through many phases in life. Changes happen in relationships, family life and working life. People fall out of love, some lose their jobs, parents remarry, children leave home and women will go through menopause. All these will cause emotional pains, stress and affect personal life.
Coping with change is never easy especially when something happens unexpectedly. When something unfamiliar happens, one of the first reactions to change is shock or taken aback and getting upset.
The next stage is resisting, fighting back or refusing to accept. This is usually followed by anger, resentment or sadness, depending on what took place. At this stage and depending on the level of emotional pain, some people may accept after consideration and some will take a longer time but will finally do. And there are also people who will not get over it.
Those who aren't able to deal with change will still move on. They do it not because they want to but because they have to. But they carry with them the anger, guilt and remorse. Because they haven't been able to accept and embrace change, they also haven't forgiven or forgotten.
You can find many of these "walking wounded" carrying their emotional baggage in life. And because they haven't learned to handle changes in their life, they tend to be the ones who are the loudest to resist anything new or different.
One of the first things you can do in dealing with change is to acknowledge that it is inevitable. Life is about change and growth. Almost everything that breathe and live will go through some kind of transformation.
The changes may not benefit you or may even hurt you. But, make an effort to focus on the things you can control. If you continue to feel upset, angry or in denial, you are putting a lot of stress in your life.
The one thing that you have and can control is your response. You can control your thoughts and you can manage your emotions. You can choose to think of something more empowering and uplifting. When you feel better, you can think clearer and make better judgments and decisions.
If it is part of your nature to resist anything new or different, why not take a little time out for contemplation. Your resistance to accept change could have resulted from a past experience that affected you badly and made you feel fearful. Whenever something that look or seem similar arise, you react the same way without putting much thought to it.
Ask yourself a few questions like why you have the tendency to resist without weighing the pros and cons and looking at the benefits it might bring. Why not tell yourself to give you or the change a chance to work before you deny it.
Embracing change is difficult because you have to move out of your comfort zone. Nobody likes to lose something that is familiar. And this is what change is about. Changes involve loss, either actual or perceived.
If you want to succeed in dealing with change in your life, don't fight what you cannot change. Remind yourself that your happiness doesn't depend on other people or events. Allow people to be and do what they choose.
Get rid of the poor me syndrome. Instead of thinking of what you have lost, focus on what to do next. If you have lost your job, this is the opportunity for you to find another job or start another career. This is your chance to start your own business and become your own boss. You have accumulated many years of working experience and specialized in certain skills and you can make use of them.
If you had gone through a divorce, view the end of your marriage as a beginning of a new life. While you struggle emotionally through the early stage in dealing with change, get moral support from your friends and family. At the same time, work on your self esteem and rebuilding your life.
Examine your present situation and set new goals. Think through and plan out the action steps that you will take to achieve your goals. Write down your fears and potential challenges or obstacles that you foresee and list down possible solutions to overcome your trepidation.
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