Relationship between couples change form over a period of time. Learn to grow together to sustain it.

When we talk about couples, it used to mean two people married to each other. Now it could mean a pair living together or any two people having an intimate relationship, regardless of whether it is the union of the traditional man-woman or the same sex.

There are increasing numbers of unmarried partners living together. And a few issues and problems faced by both married, unmarried or same sex couples seem similar.

• Trust.

Whether someone is new in a relationship or has been married for several years, there seem to be a lack of trust. And this brings about jealousy.

You may doubt your partner's relationship with the opposite sex and get envious when your spouse spends time with his buddies.

You may get hysterical if you found out that your partner has been seeing a former lover or spouse. And if you were to catch him having an affair, this will be something almost impossible to forgive and forget.

• Communication.

Lack of communication or the inability to communicate effectively is another major problem between couples. Familiarity and boredom may have taken over the relationship.

When people live together, they have to deal with daily issues and challenges. This may cause conflicts and disagreements. Knowing how to communicate and relate effectively will avoid unnecessary verbal attacks, blaming each other and frustrations.

• Money matters.

This is one of the major problems that many couples face in their relationships. Financial issues may come in between either in the early stages or when the family increases in number.

Money becomes a bigger issue if divorce or separation comes along. This is especially when assets and accounts were shared jointly.

• Sexual issues.

Some people regard sex or making love as pleasurable experience in a relationship. Others believe that it as an indication of love or to give them a sense of security. If you use sex as a means to gain self-assurance, the relationship will not endure for long.

You will always desire for more passion, intimacy and attention whereas he seems hardly interested. Having children some times affect some women's sexual desires when they become very absorbed in their role as mothers.

• Attitude.

After living together for a considerable number of years, and at times in only a few months, you may start to see flaws in your partner. The person that you have chosen as your suitable partner suddenly seems to you to have several faults that you have not noticed before.

Taking your partner for granted is a common complaint. If either partner's attitude or habits become annoying, the relationship will deteriorate further.

Suggestions for couples to sustain their relationships.

• Keep your love alive and stimulated.

Love that fades leads to boredom and dullness. Perhaps you have children or are busy with your own careers and work schedules. You need to separate yourself from the chaos and have quiet time together as much as possible.

Talk and do loving things together. Laugh more and do things that you both enjoy. Compromise and learn to like the things that he enjoys. And encourage him to do the same. Find joy in the activities you do together and build the intimacy.

Give attention to your relationship. Couples should exercise using simple loving gestures, saying thank you or uttering kind words. That can make a big difference.

• Build your self-esteem and confidence.

Improve you self-image, gain self-esteem and develop the confidence. Remove doubts about your relationship, your partner or yourself. Have confidence in your own ability and work each day to improve yourself.

You need to have your own life too and you should allow your partner to have his. Refuse to allow yourself to lose your identity. Have your own circle of friends, goals and dreams other than the ones that you share.

• Manage your finances.

You should compromise to have equal partnerships and share the responsibilities but you need to manage your own finances. You need to create your financial stability.

Getting money out of the way will allow you to build on your relationship and solve many other problems.

• Learn the art of listening.

When you learn to listen you will improve your communication skill. Improve your vocabulary, watch your language and learn to say what you mean.

He may have a problem and your ability to listen and feel emphatic will give him the strength and recreate a bond that may have lost its luster.

Take time also to listen to your intuitive self. Learn to know your own feelings and needs. Train yourself to become aware of your thoughts and to trust your intuition.

• Handle crisis as soon as it arises.

You must handle those little things before they become big things. And when crisis become unmanageable, love will turn away.

Create the state of mind and the environments to enable you to talk things over and avoid any kind of strain. Cutting off your connection with your partner by suppressing your emotions in silence is painful.

Get outside help or support if you both think you are unable to handle the problem.

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