Compulsive lying or habitual lying is a disorder and a compulsive liar usually won't admit it and doesn't care about the repercussions of his lying. It doesn't matter if the lies are blatant or don't make sense. When confronted, they can come up with more lies and deceits.
Pathological liars are also habitual liars. Their chronic lying include making up full blown stories. They will tell you things or incidents that did not take place, mostly about themselves to make other people see them as superior or important. In pathological lying, it's about who they are, what they do and have done and who they know. Even if the truth is revealed, they won't admit that they have lied. This label would suit a con man or woman.
Studies made on lying disorders indicated that habitual liars may have other underlying issues such as narcissism or an obsessive compulsive disorder. It usually started during childhood or adolescence.
They may have observed or noticed a person, who had an influence in their lives, lied and got away with it. After trying the strategy once and then again for a few times and succeeding, they decided that it is the only way to escape from being punished, get what they want or the attention that they craved. And the compulsive lying begins.
What are the signs of lying? How do you deal with a compulsive liar? And can you help a pathological liar?
You can't tell the sign of a liar until you catch him lying. You can give him the benefit of the doubt if he does it once. If your acceptance level is higher, you might give him several chances. For reassurance, you'd probably want to believe that he is only telling white lies.
But if you notice that he deliberately lies to everyone and all the time, that is a definitive sign that he is a habitual liar. And if he tell untruth to others, he will do it to you too. No exception.
You might wonder why he has to lie where there isn't a need to do so. Compulsive liars don't have to have any reason or motivation. It's a learned behavior. Pathological liars may do it to get attention.
If one of your friends happens to have the habit of chronic lying and it contradicts with your personal values, what you can do is disassociate. Don't challenge him because he won't admit it even if you have sufficient proof that he is lying. If you want to maintain the friendship, double check whatever you hear before accepting what is being said.
If you found out that your date is a pathological liar, it's wiser to end the relationship. A man who claims what he is not has no conscience. He will make promises but he can't and won't deliver. And he will always have another lie for not being able to do so.
If you are living with a habitual liar, it's more difficult to handle the situation. A husband or wife who lies about everything is untrustworthy. In a marriage, trust is very important to make the relationship works. There is a lot of heartache and frustrations in a relationship when there is deceit and dishonesty. You can't stop the lying and change his behavior.
If this is happening in your life, you may suggest counseling or therapy. But unless he admits and accepts that he has a problem, he may disagree with the suggestion. That leaves you with the decision on what to do next. You can act indifferently to his compulsive lying if you have the emotional strength to go through it. Otherwise, it's best that you move on because you deserve something better.
Take immediate action if you find that your child is developing the compulsive lying habit. Bring him to see a general practitioner who will refer him to a child psychiatrist. Without your knowledge, he might be going through a problem at school or at home.
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