On child abuse and rebuilding self-esteem for the injured and damaged spirit.

Child abuse is a term that describes the physical, emotional or sexual maltreatment suffered by a child. Neglect by an adult or caregiver is also an ill treatment.

A child is abused either by being battered, sexually exploited, or given harsh treatment with abusive words. Insufficient attention, withholding love and the absence of loving words, hugs and cuddles deprive children of the support that they need to develop fully.

Children who went through the experience of any kind of child abuse will most likely grow up with low self-esteem. Though they may not acknowledge it, their behavior, personality and attitude show from their interaction with others and in the way they handle their daily lives.

Parents may unintentionally want to hurt their children. But their problems, insecurities and hostility make them insensitive to the emotional needs of the children.

Adults sometimes treat kids as invisible. They get into marital confrontation and fight in the presence of the children. And these kids have to witness their mothers being beaten or fathers getting home drunk and aggressive.

They may suffer silently from the feeling of abandonment because their parents are too absorbed in their work or careers. Or from mothers who are too exhausted or depressed to give them the attention. And a child will feel more neglected if her single parent has found a new love and diverted the attention.

Some parents damage their children's esteems by applying corporal punishment. What can the little children do when big guys beat them up? They may not even know the actual reasons for being punished. What they can assume is that they are bad and that was why they deserved the treatment.

And the saddest and most horrific act of child abuse is sexually abusing a child's innocence. A child is so vulnerable and eager to explore and are generally inquisitive. Most likely it happened on the pretext of education or displaying affection.

And how can anyone tolerate when the person who is supposed to support and love her unconditionally is the one who break her spirit and damage her self-worth.

These victims of child abuse internalized their sufferings and grow up to become extension of the past. You meet these people moving around doing things like everyone else but their personalities seem inconsistent and at times irrational.

1. They injure themselves.
2. They hurt their wives, children, other people and even animals.
3. They become addicted to alcohol, drugs, sex or work.
4. They exert control and power over others.
5. They get involved in abusive or domineering relationships.
6. They become obese or suffer from eating disorders.
7. They have problems with their sexuality or sexual tendencies.
8. They suffer from depression and are withdrawn.
9. They believe what they want is unattainable.

Damage has been done as a result of child abuse. It takes courage to admit the injury and work on the solutions.

Suggestions to rebuild the injured child due to child abuse.

• Find supportive people and allow yourself to talk about your emotions. Enough has been bottled up. Let go and release them.
• Recondition yourself to solve conflict in non-violent ways. Acquire communication skill so that you can interact effectively, understand and be understood.
• Disallow people to dictate your life and avoid dominating others. Stop using threats and manipulating to get attention.
• Learn to be sensitive to other people's feelings. Listen to what others have to say without answering back. Allow them to express their emotions.
• Develop a different personality, something that shows your strength and confidence.
• Examine the important things in your life and learn to say "No" to the less important things and people.
• Learn to break the patterns of your upbringing so that you will not pass it on to your children.

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