Tips on building rapport.

Building rapport means having the ability to create something in common and establishing a bond.

It can mean a similar thinking, feeling, belief, or interest that benefit both parties.

Miscommunication or communication breakdown happens when a person misinterprets or does not understand what you mean when you say something.

The reason for the misinterpretation is because each individual has her way or gathering and processing information.

People use their five senses to interpret what they hear. They either use their visual, auditory, kinesthetic or the sense of smell or taste.

It happens subconsciously in their minds. You can uncover how they process by listening attentively to what they are saying.

The language and the words they use determine their thinking style. Instead of saying that they do not understand what you are saying, they say that they cannot see what you are tying to tell them.

If you are not skillful enough both of you will go back and forth trying to make each other understood.

Tips on building rapport.

• Putting the other person at ease is a good start.

A person who does not know you makes an instant first impression about you from what she sees based on the knowledge and memories she has gathered.

You can put her at ease by mirroring her posture and physiology. Sit or stand like she does and watch her breathing and mirror it. Copy her tone of voice and listen to the words she uses.

• Discover common interest.

Discover what both of you have in common. Maybe you share the same beliefs about something or some activities that you both enjoy.

Having things in common put you attuned to that person. She will like you when your way of speaking and thinking match hers.

• Exchange information.

Exchanging information about each other or things of interest builds rapport. You gain understanding and respect by sharing and receiving information and experiences.

• Listen attentively.

Listening actively means you do not judge or try to evaluate what she is saying. You listen to understand.

Use your five senses to get her message. Create rapport by changing your language, gestures and tonality to match hers.

When she feels that you understand and empathize she is able to fill your needs and you can exert your influence.

• Make use of your body language or non-verbal communication.

Most communication is conveyed through body language or non-verbal expresions. Your facial expressions, gestures and tonality play an important role in creating a bond.

When you have already created a bond, it is only natural to mirror the other person subconsciously.

Even though you do not think in the same wavelength, you can consciously attune yourself to other people's thinking preference.

Return to top of building rapport page.