Life must go on after a break up. Be strong and let go.

No matter how many times you have gone through a break up in your relationships, it still hurts each time. It is more painful for those who experience it for the first time in their life.

After a break up, you might decide not to get into a serious relationship again because you are afraid of getting hurt once more. You may even fear that you might not find another person because your self-esteem was shattered. Feelings of not being good enough for anyone might lurk in your mind.

How to get over it?

• It's over.

Stop thinking and talking about him. Forget about contacting or spying on him especially in the early days. No need to send him an e-card, remembering his birthday or other anniversary dates.

And as long as you still have even a tiny hope that you want to come back together, refuse to see or write to him again.

Return his things or dispose them. It is a way of assuring yourself that you have really accepted that the relationship is over. Keep the gifts, photographs and cards that you have received out of your sight.

• Focus on what you can do next.

What is the worst thing that can happen from the break up? You definitely have learned something from the relationship, about yourself and your partner. It's up to you to answer that.

But what is more important is to get on with life. It is not the end. You still have your family, other friends, your career and a full life ahead.

You can make new friends that may develop into better relationships. You can do things that you wanted done but held on because he did not like it.

• Start a personal growth plan.

Sitting alone in your room and brooding about what could have been is a waste of time and energy. Figuring a way to avenge how he has been unfair to you may satisfy to a certain extent but it does not benefit you in any other way.

Remember that he is getting on with his life and you are wasting yours away.

The best thing you can do is to work on yourself, on your personal growth. To paraphrase Jim Rohn, the best revenge is your success.

Plan out and state your goals on what you want out of your career and your own personal improvement. Go for your dreams.

Work on improving your personality, your character and your attitude. Success will come when you put in the efforts.

• Keep a journal.

Writing down your feelings, thoughts and emotions is therapeutic. You are able to keep track of how you are managing your life after he is gone. You will know what are the triggers that bring memories of your relationship. And you become aware of those things that you do to get him out of your mind.

Keeping a journal will allow you to see the growth you make after the break up. Write down your daily activities and your observations including the people you meet and the things you do either at work or at home.

You will realize that there are actually many things that are going on around you. It will also help you see a new relationship building up.

• Seek counseling from a relationship expert.

If all else fails, consult a relationship expert. You know you need one when you have developed the suicidal tendencies.

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