When the Relationship Ends - Break Up Advice

Getting over a break up and trying to heal your heart after a split up with your lover will take time. Even if it's not your first time, it is still painful when the relationship ends. It's especially so if it was a long term relationship.

You yearn for the love you have lost. You feel hurt, lonely and deserted. You grieve and you mourn. You have no motivation and energy and see no future.

A break up of any kind of relationship makes a person lose her strength and her self esteem. It's tough to move on with life when you suddenly find yourself unloved and single again.

Stop thinking and talking about him. Forget about contacting or spying on him especially in the early days. No need to send him an ecard, remembering his birthday or other anniversary dates. And if you still have even a tiny hope of reconciliation, refuse to see or write to him.

Return his things or dispose them. It is a way of assuring yourself that you have really accepted that the relationship is over. Keep the gifts, photographs and cards that you have received out of your sight, and out of your mind.

What is the worst thing that can happen from the breakup? You definitely have learned something from the relationship, about yourself and your partner. It's up to you to answer that.

But what is more important is to get on with life. It is not the end. You are not dead. You still have your family, other friends, your career and a full life ahead. You can make new friends that may develop into better relationships. You can do things that you wanted done but held on because he did not like it.

Sitting alone in your room and brooding about what could have been is a waste of time and energy. Figuring a way to avenge how he has been unfair to you may satisfy to a certain extent but it does not benefit you in any way. Remember that he is getting on with his life and you are wasting yours away.

The best thing you can do is to work on yourself, on your personal growth. To paraphrase Jim Rohn, the best revenge is your success. Plan out and list your goals on what you want out of your career and your own personal improvement. Go for your dreams.

Work on improving your personality, your character and your attitude. Success will come when you put in the efforts.

Writing down your feelings, thoughts and emotions is therapeutic. You are able to keep track of how you are managing your life after he is gone. You will know what the triggers are that bring memories of your relationship. And you become aware of those things that you do to get him out of your mind.

Keeping a journal allows you to see the growth you make after the break up. Write down your daily activities and your observations including the people you meet and the things you do either at work or at home.

You will realize that there are actually many things that are going on around you. It will also help you see a new relationship building up.

If all else fails, consult a relationship expert. You know you need one if you have developed the suicidal tendencies.

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