"He who is afraid of asking is ashamed of learning." - Danish Proverb

You may have been brought up to believe that asking is a selfish act. You may have been ridiculed, ignored or criticized about being demanding during your childhood. You were brought up to accept what was given and told to learn to be grateful. So you grew up into adulthood never making your request known and suffering in silence.

When something goes wrong, when you need some attention or you can't find the answers to your problems, you get angry and annoyed and blame others for not being understanding. Instead of appealing for assistance, you give up or leave things the way they are because you are too proud to get help. You think that nobody would want to assist you and that you are on you own.

Here's how to do it without feeling intimidated.

• Change your mental programming.

Change your previous belief and conditioning that getting help is for losers and shows weakness. Don't let the experiences you had during your childhood frighten and limit you. Have the courage to question yourself seriously. Look at the image that you are seeing in your mind and affirm to yourself that you are a worthy person. You have to learn to enhance your self-esteem and overcome your fear of rejection.

• Decide what you want, what to inquire, and from whom to get it.

One of the reasons why you aren't achieving more is because you are afraid to request for help when you don't know how to do it. If you decide what you want to accomplish and then look for someone who can give it to you, you are halfway through. There is someone else who is specialized in the area that you wish to master and what you need to do is ask, learn and then do.

• Don't give up too soon.

If someone says "No", that doesn't mean everyone will do the same. Try the next person or try to state your request differently. When you receive a negative answer, don't berate yourself and think that you have failed. Mentally prepare yourself to be rejected once in a while. It's just a challenge and to see how much you can take and what you can do about it.

• Learn to become a better communicator.

Learn to communicate more effectively so that you can state your request clearly and make others understand what you are asking for. Don't use vague language and expect people to read your mind. Say what you want, give your reasons and say it with conviction. The words you use make a difference in the results you get. So say what you want and say it clearly

• Imagine and expect positive outcomes.

When you expect good things to happen and you believe they will the chances of succeeding are higher. Learn to visualize and see a positive end result. Plan your success in your head and imagine yourself a confident person. Act as if you are and people will react positively towards you.

• Be willing to give.

The more you give, the more you will receive. That's one of the principles of life. When people ask you for help, for your time, for a hug or for anything that you are capable of giving, grant it. Encourage your children, your loved ones and your colleagues to have an inquisitive mind, to be curious and to request for what they want. Give them the answers and the assistance.

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