The Importance of Asking

You may have been brought up to believe that asking is a shameful or selfish act. When you were a child, you were told that you are demanding and you remember that you were ridiculed, ignored and criticized.

You may have been brought up to accept what was given and told to learn to be grateful and not ask for more. So you grew up into adulthood never making your request known and suffering in silence.


When something goes wrong, when you need some attention or you can't find the answers to your problems, you get angry and annoyed and blame others for not being understanding. Instead of appealing for assistance, you give up or leave things the way they are because you think you are not supposed to ask for help. You think that nobody would want to assist you and that you are on your own. And you fear that even if you make a request, no one will lend a hand.


How to Start Asking

Change your beliefs

Change your previous beliefs and conditioning that getting help is for losers and shows a weakness. Don't let the experiences you had during your childhood frightens and limit you. Have the courage to question yourself seriously. Look at the image that you are seeing in your mind and affirm to yourself that you are a worthy person. Learn to enhance your self esteem and overcome your fear of rejection.


Decide what you want, what to inquire, and from whom to get it

One of the reasons why you aren't achieving more is because you are afraid to request for help and direction when you don't know what and how to do something. If you decide what you want to accomplish and then look for someone who can offer assistance and support, you are halfway through. There is someone else who is specialized in the area that you wish to master and what you need to do is ask, learn and then do.


Don't give up too soon

If someone says "No", that doesn't mean everyone will do the same. Try the next person or try to state your request differently. When you receive a negative answer, don't berate yourself and think that you have failed. Mentally prepare yourself to be rejected once in a while. It's just a challenge and to see how much you can take and what you can do about it.


Learn to become a better communicator

Learn to communicate more effectively so that you can state your request clearly and make others understand what you want. Don't use vague language and expect people to read your mind. Say what you want, give your reasons and say it with conviction. The words you use make a difference in the results you get. So say what you want and say it clearly.


Imagine and expect positive outcomes

When you expect good things to happen and you believe, the chances of succeeding are higher. Learn to visualize and see a positive end result. Plan your success in your head and imagine yourself a confident person. Act as if you assured and people will react positively towards you.


Be willing to give

The more you give, the more you will receive. That's one of the principles of life. When people look for you for help, your time, a hug or for anything that you are capable of giving, grant it. Encourage your children, your loved ones and your colleagues to have an inquisitive mind, to be curious and to request for what they want.







New! Comments


Have your say about what you just read! Leave me a comment in the box below.


Communication Articles


Return from The Importance of Asking to Personal Growth Home