Effects of Getting into a Serious Argument

An argument happens when two or more people are trying to defend or uphold their ideas, values, beliefs, principles or standards. Sometimes, an issue does not warrant a debate but there are people who are confrontational in nature and want to argue about everything.

Once a disagreement gets serious, the person may lose his composure and allow his emotions to direct his actions. A bitter conflict may ensue.

Is it worth it to sacrifice a relationship or a career just because of the difference in opinions and having the need to win an argument? Spats and misunderstandings can be avoided if everyone respects each other's views and doesn't have the need to prove that he is right and the other person is wrong.

The worst part after a row especially between couples, family members and good friends is to make up, win back or mend the relationships. Whoever has won in the quarrel has lost something; the confidence, adoration, respect or some other things that are difficult to get back.

"Argument is the worst sort of conversation." - Jonathan Swift

How to Handle and Avoid an Argument

See the outcome in advance

Mentally view the outcome of a dispute in advance. When you do that you may associate the picture to some pains. Once your mind is able to attach pain to a future event, you may inevitably avoid having to go through it.

Pause

If you dislike something being said or done, pause and think first before you react and argue. Search inside and find out if there are other issues that are bothering you.

Listen to yourself

Listen to your self talk. Most likely you already have an idea of what you want to express. Stop those mental debates going in your head, analyze them and change your state of mind to avoid starting a fight.

Listen to the other person

Sometimes a spat occurs because the other person needs to feel cared. In relationships especially, don't neglect to communicate to one another. Pay attention to what the other person has to convey. If you have done wrong, apologize. Don't wait. Sometimes petty things can become an issue just because you refuse to listen.

Shift the focus

To shift yours or the other person's focus, ask questions but avoid probing and challenging. The questions that you ask yourself or the other person will result in a change in the internal focus. Once the attention is diverted, a person will shift his mental awareness to something else.

Watch your language and nonverbal cues

Avoid language that would trigger a heated discussion and pay attention to your nonverbal cues like your posture. What you say may hurt the other person and causes him to retaliate. If you are skillful enough, use some humor to tease the person out of a discord.

Ways to Remove Yourself from an Argument

Excuse yourself and walk away

If it matters to you not to get into an unpleasant debate, it's best to walk away from the situation. You may lose approval for a while but it doesn't mean you have lost. Let things cool off.

Don't participate

If you are in a group who are arguing and you can't excuse yourself, just observe the people in action but don't participate. It's a good opportunity to learn about people and their reactions.

Listen attentively without having the need to disagree

Sometimes you'll sense that your partner is starting a row and you can't just walk off. One of the best things to do is just sit down and listen. Most likely he is having other problems, at work or over his unresolved personal issues, and he is trying to voice out his frustrations. When the time is right, lead him to tell you his real problem.