"Argument is the worst sort of conversation." - Jonathan Swift

An argument happens because two or more people are trying to defend or uphold their ideas, values, philosophies or standards. Sometimes, an issue does not warrant a debate. Once a disagreement gets serious, the person may lose his composure and allow his emotions to direct his actions.

Is it worth it to sacrifice a relationship or a career just because of the difference in opinions? Everyone has his own perceptions. It does not matter who is wrong or right.

How to avoid getting into an argument.

• Pause.

If you dislike something being said or done, pause and think first before you react and argue. Search inside and find out if there are other issues that are bothering you.

• Listen to yourself.

Listen to your vocal thoughts. Most likely you already have an idea of what you want to express. You should stop those mental debates going in your head, analyze them and change your state of mind to avoid developing a fight.

• Listen to the other person.

Sometimes a spat occurs because the other person needs to feel cared. In relationships especially, don't neglect to communicate to one another. Pay attention to what the other person has to convey. If you have done wrong, apologize. Don't wait. Sometimes petty things can become an issue just because you refuse to listen.

• Shift the focus.

To shift yours or the other person's focus, ask questions. The questions that you ask yourself or the other person will result in a change in the internal focus. Once the attention is diverted, a person will shift his mental awareness to something else.

• Watch your language and non verbal cues.

Avoid language that would trigger a heated discussion and pay attention to your non verbal cues like your posture. What you say may hurt the other person and causes him to retaliate. If you are skillful enough, use some humor to tease the person out of a quarrel.

What to do when you realize that an argument is going to take place.

• See the outcome in advance.

Why not mentally view the outcome of a dispute in advance. When you do that you may associate the picture to some pains. Once your mind is able to attach pain to a future event, you may inevitably avoid having to go through it.

• Walk away.

If it matters to you not to get into an unpleasant debate, it's best to walk away from the situation. You may lose approval for a while but it doesn't mean you have lost. Let things cool off.

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