Craving Approval and Being Needy

When you were a child, it was expected that you ask for approval and consent before you do something. And you needed validation to confirm whether your behavior and actions were acceptable.

Without the go ahead and OK from your parents or the elders, you probably felt lost and unsure. You needed to be told what was right or wrong for you. You believed the authoritative adults.

You needed their support, blessings and encouragement. You could not function without them. You wanted to feel loved, accepted and worthy.

Many grown-ups brought along this pattern of neediness for approval into their adulthood. They are children living in adults' body. They worry too much about what their peers, parents, children, friends, superiors, and coworkers think of their actions, choices and manners. They are unable to make firm decisions in life because they still crave for the attention, love and guidance.

They have low self esteem and hinder their own personal growths. These people are unable to go far because they require other people's permission and judgments to act and decide for them. But other people are usually more interested in them and put their needs ahead and probably having similar dilemma.

Listen to those voices inside your head. They are voices of your past. They are still there because you are still replaying what were said then. Stop rerunning the images of a child getting disapproving remarks. Start looking at those images face to face and question yourself.

Some of these people may no longer exist but their words linger on and still make you feel rejected and unloved. How do you get rid of them? By focusing your efforts to cancel the old and negative and replacing them with positive and uplifting affirmations.

Is it really important that other people have to agree with your choices and decisions? Can't you function without them? Ask for opinions and assistance if you lack the knowledge or skill but make your own decisions.

In order to make good decisions, practice making lots of them. You may make the wrong ones, but hey, the more decisions you make the better and faster will you learn on what work and what you should not repeat. You will inevitably improve your confidence and worthiness and your insecurities will disappear.

Believe and trust yourself and your judgments. Accept yourself for your idiosyncrasies and how or what have become of you. So what if you have made mistakes before. Who doesn't? Mistakes don't make you a failure or a reject. If you do feel such a way, it's because you want to think that way.

Fears and the dire need for acceptance are common weaknesses. But you have to overcome them if you value your own worth. You need sufficient self esteem. You need to feel good about yourself before people can feel at ease in your company.

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